Giving Thanks...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


I have a confession to make.
And it's now going to be a dirty open secret:

I am a shopaholic.

It's an addiction, a curse, a genetic defect or perhaps something learned from watching way too many TV shows or movies about young women who move to big cities and burn the hell out of their credit cards.

While I'm not thousands of dollars in debt and pay off my credit card balances on a regular basis, I am also not meeting my savings goals, either, and that's been a creeping source of friction between the Mr. and me. Each month, I tell myself that I'm going to be better about my money, and while I am meeting minimum retirement savings, I seem fall into old familiar patterns: I "need that dress," "those shoes are on sale," and "yes I need this perfect red lipstick," etc. etc.
I will admit that I do not wear half the clothes or shoes in my closet, and some of my purchases, hidden deep in the darkest reach of my closet, will probably never see the light of day, and their pricetags are still unclipped, dangling like a shameful, hidden secret.

In honor of Thanksgiving and the upcoming holiday season, I am challenging myself to be thankful for what I have and to be generous with others, but more frugal with myself. I am sure my life will be richer for it, both literally and figuratively...

I am thankful for so many things in my life.
Material things, yes, are among them, but they are not the full story.

Question of the day: What tangible and intangible things are you thankful for this year?

In the tangible realm, I am thankful for my home, my new Topshop shoes, my Canon Rebel camera, my iPhone. As for intangibles: I am thankful for love, imagination, my family, a new sense of purpose and direction in my career that is becoming clearer by the day. Does a blog count as an intangible? Because I am thankful for that. And for you, my beautiful, wonderful blogger friends.

47 comments:

mahryska said...

im a shopaholic too and feel the same way! waaahhhh =(
buts its always great to thankful for whatever it that you have...
you're doing something great this thanksgiving so good luck and hope you enjoy the festive season!!! greetings from dubai...

Sher said...

I can totally identify with what you're saying, I guess I'm a fellow shopaholic. And although I pay off my credit card bills every month, there's just not much left to save!! I'll then get a lecture from the bf!!!

But still I have much to be thankful for, I count myself really blessed to have a family and bf who loves me. And I'm really thankful for my upcoming Greece trip with the bf next June:)

Happy Thanksgiving in advance!!

nicole said...

Oh D, I think all us fashion bloggers can identify with being shopaholics, myself especially! hahaha no wonder we get along so well ;)

And in all honesty, if I didn't know any better, your blog post sounds like something I'd write in a confession lol. I have bags I haven't used yet, clothes with tags still attached, omg even shoes that have yet to see the light of day.. I try not to think about it haha

Even though the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday has passed, I just want to say thanks for starting a blog and for all the lovely things that you blog about, I truly enjoy each and every post. And don't worry, from a self-admitted shopaholic, you are not alone!

Happy Thanksgiving D!

xo

The Poor Little Rich Girls said...

who isn't a shopaholic honey!
Love, The Poor Little Rich Girl's.x

Brigadeiro said...

Hello, my name is CC, and I'm also a shopaholic...Not like in the movie though (surprisingly I hated that movie and thought Rebecca had terrible taste, haha)

I have so many things to be thankful for! :)

*my Nikon D90 camera & the ahem...'few' (many) fashion purchases I've made...
*my plane tickets to Japan (to see my parents and lil' sister)
*the fact that work is letting me go...
*my very exciting 'package' that will arrive in April, if all goes weel :)
*my hubby finally passing the exams he has been putting off for so many years (and for his year-long study period finally being over - we get our lives back!)
*my family...

Ah, my list is endless...

:)

Happy Thanksgiving!

xx
CC

Brigadeiro said...

PS. 'if all goes well' (not weel, haha) - and by 'work letting me go' - I meant 'go to Japan' :)

DailyDivaDish said...

You're in good company with being a shopaholic. I find myself telling my hubby it was all "on sale" --meanwhile telling myself, "just one more ring, then I'll stop." Total addict talk, right?

I am trying to do the same as you and be thankful for what I have and that would of course start with my loving hubby and our little furry babies. ;) All the best to you! -Piper

JOWY said...

Yez i too, consume way too much, but i have to say..i've always worked since im 15 and i dont take things for granted, you have to be thankful and appreciative.

One Love,
Jowy
www.iseejanemary.blogspot.com

Susan said...

oh yes, me too...
have a lovely day, xoxo

jen laceda said...

Tangible thanks to my: Mac book, Canon 5D, travel

Intangible thanks to my: family, friends, blog, blog buddies, and travel writing / creative outlet.

Happy thanksgiving.

Here's something funny...my Word Verification is "mallban" - Funny, is this a sign for us to limit our shopping? Mall ban...hmmm....

FabBlab said...

I am thankful for my lovely family, amazing friends, incredible boyfriend (s) who I do not deserve and finally, my new Lena Ezriak bags. Ooh, and Elle.

Alright, I think I got it all.

PS- OH and my Dell :P

WendyB said...

LOL @ The Poor Little Rich Girls' comment.

jennine said...

ooh yeah, i was also going to write about this too... you;re lucky you realised this without going into debt.

i racked up quite a few cards, mostly before i stared blogging, and that first year, was also pretty intense with my shopping... it's not a comfortable thing to deal with, even during the shopping sprees i had a lot of guilt.

right now, i'm working on finanical recovery, but i just have to say that shopping addictions are real, and they can be destructive. it's just a matter of when you say when.

Anika said...

Oh hellooooo. My name is Anika and I'm a shopaholic. I know exactly what you mean about it being a guilt secret. And like you, I'm not in debt...I'm just not saving as much as I'd like to or should.

The first step is admitting you have a problem, right? ;)

G'luck to us all hun.

Meanwhile, have a fab week

Bobbin Talk said...

Well, being a shopaholic makes for a better fashion blogger, if that's any consolation for you! :)

Summer (BisforBrown) said...

I am too all over the place to think right now, but I am thankful for you!

I am also trying to see if Dec 1 works. Just getting through this week!

xoxox

Jaime said...

Tangible items- I am thankful for a room over my head, my fabulous shoe and purse collection, and my Mac laptop.
Intangible- thankful for friends, family, and good health!

Jaime said...

and by room over my head, I mean roof lol :)

kpeach said...

I know and I am worse than I've ever been-when you work hard all day it's hard not to spend money!
Happy Thanksgiving xo

Dream Sequins said...

@mahryska: There's nothing wrong with spending money and enjoying it-- but when it's an addiction and you suffer from impulse control and you must must spend every day, there's a problem. ;)

@Sher: Wow-- Greece sounds amazing. June is the best time to go, no? I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my struggles :)

@nicole: I was actually thinking of you and your shopping ban when I wrote this post. You're an inspiration. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

@The Poor Little Rich Girls: True that!

@Brigadeiro: I know. It's kind of unfortunate that I had to use the film still because it was kind of a scary movie. Actually, they should reclassify it as a horror genre. OMG- I can't believe that work is letting you go-- that's a good thing, right? On to bigger and better things??? Your list is great!

Soren Lorensen said...

tangible: mmm after christmas I will be thankful for my new new new camera

intangible: comments on my blog, I am thankful for those, and at christmas I will be thankful for the company of my family who I have not seen in six months.

Leah said...

Hi there! I can totally relate with your post... I am a certified shopaholic too.

What tangible things I'm thankful for? my MacBook Pro, my bag collection, my full pantry. The intangibles: unconditional love from my kids, my zest for life.

Love your blog! Hugs!

Dream Sequins said...

@DailyDivaDish: Well, we're fortunate in our own ways, and while we may want to buy more more more, we should definitely appreciate what we have. I think the point that was lost on me until recently is that I have a lot of great stuff in my life! Starting to celebrate with that :)

@Jowy: If you've been working since you were 15, then you definitely know what it's all about! That's absolutely amazing and commendable.

@Susan: Thanks, honey :)

@jen laceda: Travel is a great thing to be thankful for. I have mixed emotions about saying that everyone should go on a shopping ban! Because not everyone needs to. But some people like myself with impulse control issues need to "detox" for a bit and then slowly introduce sane shopping into the picture. LOL. Happy holidays to you.

@FabBlab: Quite a list you have going on there! I have a Dell, too, but I need to talk to you about that. Not 100% loving it.

@jennine: I've had this realization before-- but it's coming back again, because the guilt was too too crushing. You are right to point out that the problem is real! I'm sure you can relate to this as a fashion blogger- you want to support retail, and also when you blog about something, you're creating desire, and you can't walk away from creating desire without feeling some of that yourself. I don't want to put myself on a complete shopping ban. I just want to make sure I love everything I buy-- and that I don't feel guilty about it!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Oh gosh I know exactly how you feel. I used to be a shopaholic too until it got the best of me this past summer. I became thousands of dollars in debt and had to give up my credit card after an intervention. But I have lots of designer clothes to show for my escapades and plus, I just finished off paying my debt last week, so I don't regret it one bit. Lol. :P

thefatandskinnyonfashion said...

I am shopaholic too unfortunately. lol! I am thankful for every bleesing that I have received. I try not to take my life for granted.

Sheena said...

Ahh, I am a shopoaholic as well, and sadly,I'm working on saving my $$$ as well, but it can definitely be a difficult thing to do. I do hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving and it is a wonderful day for you.

Amy Blogs Chow said...

I am thankful for bloggers, like yourself, who work their butt off to make the web world a beautiful, informative, and welcoming home.

Maria Confer said...

I'm sure you're not alone in your fashion addiction. I think as fashion bloggers we all have this problem.

I am most thankful for my family and husband and for my health!

lululetty.blogspot.com

fabulous finds said...

great post...after yet another day of shopping for myself (just yesterday)...i told my girlfriend...that was it for the year...i need to focus on christmas...i love your honesty...i am in the middle of cleaning out closets with a lot of clothes that are not worn...to hopefully get them to someone who will wear and enjoy them...and in that exercise...i have seen myself get alot better at thinking through purchases...
i will probably always be a shopper...i mean...what fun...right? but i really think about an item now...and is it one that will work in my wardrobe!
http://www.fabulousfinds-elena.blogspot.com

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Oh D, I'm sure there are tons of goodies in your closet!

I'm thankful for my latest Jimmy Choo for H&M finds and thankful that my job prospects are looking up.

Kristin said...

I am thankful for our house, which is the first thing we bought together, and my beautiful family. Celebrating the holidays with the dude around now is so much more fun!

Hanako66 said...

sigh, this hits too close to home....i am not in debt, but the funds that i spend on shopping could be much better utilized in savings.

InnyVinny said...

I completely understand where you are coming from. It's hard to strike a balance, but it is so necessary to cover your behind when it comes to saving enough money.

I'm thankful for my family and the freedoms I enjoy. The items...well, that would be a very long list. LOL.

Midtown Girl said...

Yes, I just posted abt my OCD with Pink last yr. My b-bag still has the TAG on it. Not cheap at $1700 - WTH!

Last yr is completely difft from this yr for me bc everytime I see something I want I think "let me hold off 2 days with out buying it" And if something else pops up that I want, then I know i didn't really need that piece.

It is sooo hard - but you own your own digs so that is AWESOME!

Savvy Gal said...

know how you feel. there is a little bit of shopaholic in everyone of us. i am thankful for the intagnible things such as health, freedom, etc.... of course having great family and friends are beyond anything material.

Tights Lover said...

Great post. I'm definitely a shopaholic too...I can relate to this post for sure!

kanishanashay said...

it's really nice that you can admit that, lol!

i love your blog :)

www.kaneeshp.blogspot.com

Livie said...

happy thanksgiving week to you D. We had our canadian thanksgiving already.

I think i'm also a shopaholic. like you, every pay cheque i am trying to save and not buy anything but I haven't been very successful. there's a bunch of things i want on my "list" right now but i know most of them are not things i need.

i am thankful for: awesome hubby, great friends, supportive colleagues, good health, loving family, and the opportunity to live life at the fullest.

Elizabeth Marie said...

I totally understand what you mean, and this new career move has really forced me to stop spending...it's humbling. It's annoying. It's upsetting, but I'm learning that there is so much more to life than material things...

I'm thankful for gorgeous (inside and out) friends like you.

Diana said...

I think all women deal a little bit of this.
I'm not a shopaholic but I'm a recovering shopaholic. I had closet full of designers and just so many clothes and bathroom full of everything from expensive makeup, to shampoo, etc. it was too much.
I looked at all my stuff and realized it could be in a CD account, rather than collecting dust.
I'm thankful for all those things I own, but I'm more thankful for the discipline I gave myself, even if at times it hurt like mofo!

Brigadeiro said...

Haha, Deanne, as I tried to correct in my 2nd comment work isn't 'letting me go' (as in firing me), but letting me go to Japan (I thought they wouldn't be happy with the idea, as I'll be leaving in February anyway due to my April arrival.... ;))

xx
CC

quelle said...

don't they say that admitting your "problem" is the first step to recovery? :) but you shouldn't beat yourself up too much about your little indulgence. think of what an accomplishment it is that you're saving enough each month for your future retirement. i am sure most people are not even close to meeting this goal.

happy thanksgiving!

PinkBow said...

ah i loved that film! i think anyone who loves clothes will be exactly the same as you. it's finding a balance that is key!

Brunette and Pink said...

I am a shopaholic "in my mind" - I am always looking at stuff and saying "I want this, I want that"... But then, I have pre-buyers remorse and stop thinking about it... Does that make sense??? Kinda weird...
Anyway, tangible things I am thankful for: My Urban Decay Book of Shadows II, my Canon SD600 Camera (it stills works after dropping it on the floor so many times!), my home, my family, and food on my plate. Intangible things I am thankful for: being able to channel creativity and writing through blogging, health, and love.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

.:*aMbAr*:. said...

Awwww, this was an awesome post. Ironically, I saw the movie for the 1st time yesterday, LOL. But that's great that you realize it, and want to do something about it, you go girl!!!!

Denise @ Swelle said...

I too am a Shopoholic, and I too always say it's going to get better but it never does! There's always something, but I have to say I do use/wear everything I buy, unless it's a great dress bought at a smaller size so I don't waste it on my fat phase!

I am thankful for my Luella boucle jacket (I had too, I may not get another chance to own one of hers) our new house, a living room that I actually decorated myself, a daughter who is an absolute dream, a husband who is far too good for me, and that my father's biopsy came back negative. I think I just put myself in a good mood. And I'm thankful to you for making me think about this! I hope you're enjoying your Thanksgiving week! ♥

Denise said...

Thanks for posting this... I resolve in the new year that I will start saving for a house!

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